A review of the art of Seasonal Greetings in the history

Let’s start FSFI (First Suffered, First Issued). The first attempt of a Seasonal Greeting from Antara was done in a date B.C. Probably this is the reason why there are no records of it (and because of the trial court decision, as you‘ll read below). The legend talks about a computer game with some ugly Elves “dressed” with tangas (and red hats), dancing on an aircraft carrier runway, exposed to the killing balls fired by the user… simply try to imagine the “Christmas” landscape! Weird, though someone found it funny.

The failure in the attempt was not considered so by these guys, and after the lawsuit promoted by the Elves Union, and the computer game ranked for adults only (some elves get lost their tangas), the guys considered safer to put themselves in the focus. Looking at those Men-In-Black, it is clear that the “official” position is rather serious (a photo taken in a burial, I would say). Again, they failed in communicating the happiness and good wishes of the season.

In Christmas 2003 they made something very rough, probably because of the lack of time (and wisdom). These guys made references to “Innovation” in 2003, which means they failed also in taking the fashion wave entitled with that buzzword, which came as late as in 2009 for the rest of the world…

One year later, incredibly they found four volunteers to be included in the incredible exercise of self-confidence, in which those volunteers where shown in a realistic way, despite of the efforts of the designer who tried to hide their real nature. By the way, did you realize that there is no reference to Christmas nor to the New Year to come? That’s a seasonal greeting, by the way!

The year 2005 was the year in which the guys in Antara got lost their thumbs (and brains). Influenced by what they called “one of the most profound and intimating sagas in the history of art” –perhaps they did reference to a child’s tale about some animals in a sea trip-, they got dressed in black&white suits (again, as two years before –low immagination), and they tried to sell to us the idea of being motivated and skilled to become a good team. Please notice the mistake in the bottom with hand-made changes of Madagascar by the correct corporate office location in West Samoa (everybody knows that the Internet domain of Antara is .ws). This point is the final demonstration of the lack of resources devoted to the season greetings design.

The following year the ideas where -still- gone, and they made the same bull shit with no thumbs. The volunteers had to dance this time –somehow synchronized, though the photo says nothing about it-, and they were forced to travel thousand miles into the South to take this stupid photo. They promised new fresh ideas in 2007, and nowadays everybody knows they lied.

The last –thanks God!- graphical greeting from Antara came in 2007. As you can see, again and again they refer to a future which never came so far (!). This photo was taken with the official uniforms. Note that the volunteers are in an empty room. It is known now that the furniture was sold to pay the photographer. Despite of this picture featuring Bender, it is also known that this wise and renowned professional newer worked at Antara, and it seems that the picture is partially a fake.

From this point on, the attempts to the foundation of a “scuola grafika” were cancelled. Unfortunately, the mix of pure technology with some graphical reminiscences was considered as a way to escape, and –with what can be supposed a huge effort this time- the team generated what could hardly be considered a Christmas card.

They perpetrated an adaptation of the mind-mapping software FreeMind, in such a way that the mind-map tree became a –kind of- Christmas tree. Each branch represented what they intended to be deep reflections about a different face of Christmas season (gastronomy, Santa Claus, The Three Wise Men, The New Year Celebration, …). Special mention should be made of the SWOT / DAFO analysis of the Three Wise Men under the threat of Santa.
At least every author is clearly identified with his/her picture, which means that you can recognize -and directly punish them- if you meet on the street in a Christmas shopping evening.

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